Imagine a beautiful blue.
This is an unusual post, because I wanted to share a mind-calming meditation for the Monday jitters. But I can’t do it without considering the emotional consequences of the horrifying tragedy in small-town Connecticut.
I woke up with my churning mind, which honestly I do every day, then I suddenly remembered. All these people, mostly little kids, who were alive Friday morning, are now dead at the hands of a very disturbed young man. And my heart dropped to the floor.
It is normal for us to try to make sense of this, or at least find an explanation of why it happened. We may even look for someone to blame, though the true blame lies with the now dead shooter.
There is no end to this process. So we use words like “senseless,” “evil,” and “crazy” to describe events that are nearly impossible to ascribe meaning to.
Meanwhile, we go about our lives, as we must, living in a kind of denial. Without emotional denial that a twenty-year-old shot dozens of small children to death–and frankly, this could have been in any of our towns or cities–it is difficult to imagine how we can continue to live our lives with positivity and hope.
All of this brings me back to my original intent–Monday Meditation. When the unimaginable happens, and there is no amount of talking or thinking that can make it better, you can find solace by going inward, even though that may sound counterintuitive. Denial might allow us to continue for the present, but it disconnects us from our emotional selves. The answer to processing something as horrible as this is emotional connection.
I would like to share a variation of a meditation I use to create emotional connection and to process events that cause tremendous grief and anger, especially events that I have no control over. I hope it helps you, too.
Five Minute Love and Tribute Meditation
Sit comfortably in a chair or on a cushion. Light a candle. Look at the candle flame and take three deep breaths. Close your eyes.
Imagine the people who were killed, the adults and the children. You don’t have to know exactly what they look like; just see them as a group, standing or sitting together, and hold them in your mind.
See a beautiful blue haze gently surround them. Now feel that beautiful blue permeate you, starting in your heart, and expanding through your body. Hold the image of the children and adults, cushioned in blue, and feel yourself cushioned in blue.
Now say to them, either out loud or to yourself, “I see you. You are loved.” Breathe. Say it again. Breathe. Say it once more. Breathe.
Now allow the image to dissipate, the children and adults, as they take the blue with them. Continue to feel the beautiful blue fill you.
When you are ready, open your eyes, and know that you have recognized, loved, and honored those who were lost.
Namaste
This meditation seems both so powerful and scary to me. Imagining these people together in a group like that might make me cry. But I recognize this as a good way to stay grounded in the midst of trauma. Am I more afraid of the pain of sadness or do I more desire to stay in my body and pay tribute? Yikes.
Adventures in Anxiety Land
This is not an easy meditation, and it’s possible that you or anyone may like to modify in a way that feels more do-able. What I wanted to do was create a way to avoid denial of what happened and to emotionally process it instead. I do believe there is power in being a witness to a tragedy like this, even if it is just within our own psyche.
I just read this and was so moved that I had to light a candle. I imagined them as a crowd, children and their teachers, looking at me, open to me, hearing my words. Very sad, very powerful. They are remembered today.